two poem Tuesday: love and anti-love

We’re three weeks into the challenge now, which means “Two-for-Tuesday” day today. This is the one I break out every challenge (alumni know which one I’m talking about).

For today’s prompt:

1. Write a love poem and/or…

2. Write an anti-love poem. Because some folks just aren’t that into love poems.

Remember: These prompts are just springboards; you have the freedom to jump in any direction you want. In other words, it’s more important to write a new poem than to stick to the prompt. — Robert Lee Brewer, Writer’s Digest

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I haven’t written two poems on either of the previous Tuesdays this month. I’ll try today to write both instead of choosing one.

anti-love

There’s an ugly wound
on my soul
from the blunt force trauma
of losing a child to suicide

It’s the kind of thing
you always hide
in polite company
and even now
I hesitate
to say any more,
to tell the thing I came to tell.

The wound gives me thoughts
that should not be expressed
There’s a tiny voice I suppress
— would never say out loud —
every time I hear the news
someone is expecting.

I’m so happy for you!
Children are such a blessing.
But the wound whispers darkly
so only I can hear,
”I hope they don’t grow up to break your heart.”

love

it was love
that wrought
my devastation

— anyone
who has lost someone
understands —

and love
has been the only thing
to begin to revive
the damaged parts of me

a paradox:
that which harms also heals
somehow the seed of my destruction
yet is the source of my redemption

such power

I want to wield it well

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So one thing about these poetry exercises is that they’re not all successful. I don’t wrap it up every day thrilled with what I’ve written. Maybe I come back and do some revisions. Every first effort could be improved with some additional attention. Or maybe I call it good enough and move on.

These days, so much depends on the energy I have. Am I fighting just to get through another day of self isolation without alienating the people I love? Yesterday I was so grouchy. Everything seemed bleak, and it was hard not to take it out on my husband, who is the only other person in my household right now. And he’s working — although things are weird, he still gets to leave the house and see people and maintain whatever sense of normalcy is possible under the extraordinary conditions of life at this moment.

So today’s poems, I don’t think they’re so great. But, as with every attempt at poetry, they did give me the opportunity to take some stuff that was inside of me and express it outwardly, and in some sense, let it go. So that’s always a positive.

perspective

For today’s prompt, write a dark poem. Cave poems, poems at night, and no electricity poems — these are all appropriate for today’s prompt. Of course, dark has several other connotations as well. An underdog is often known as a dark horse, a villain may have a dark heart, and Batman is known as the Dark Knight. Heck, when I was little, I thought Darth Vader was Dark Vader. — Robert Lee Brewer, Writer’s Digest

Perspective

I get that it feels crushing
when your kid has worked
so hard
to see them passed over for awards
and recognition at the end of high school

But the award I wish
I were seeing presented
would be one that says
”Lived Through It”

[I don’t generally let my dark nature out into the light of day; so much so that I feel the need to write some kind of disclaimer here. What I’ve written above is an accurate reflection of thoughts and feelings I have had. But I don’t believe that a hierarchy of tragedies is helpful. The hardest thing that has ever happened to you is still the hardest thing that has ever happened to you, however it might compare to someone else’s hardest thing. I understand the disappointment of the parents whose kid didn’t get awarded enough of a scholarship to such-and-such U, or didn’t even get accepted. It’s hard to see the future not play out for your child the way you imagined. Not having a future is also hard.]